so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
