i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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