I am in a vortex of obligation.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
