i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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