And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize