Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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