i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
