i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize