I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
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