I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize