my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
