i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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