This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
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My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
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I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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