12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize