She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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