Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize