Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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