Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
