Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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