Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We're too hungover to prance.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
