He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
