If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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