Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
