He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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