Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
