He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
