Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
