This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
