Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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