Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
