I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
