My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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