got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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