do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
