My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
No subtext here. People are naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize