Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
