My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
