I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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