i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Randomize
