Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
