Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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