I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize