i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize