Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
