i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Farmville is her only friend.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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