Operation Purity has been aborted
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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