dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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