its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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