i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
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I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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