I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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