What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize