I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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