Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
