i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize