He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
