Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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