well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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