I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
