I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
